I won’t lie … I was completely petrified of “putting myself out there” to meet complete strangers in order to “date.” What a foreign concept to a “relationship girl,” as I was dubbed by a guy I recently met.
It’s true. I’ve hopped from one relationship to the next and have never really experienced the life of a true single girl.
After leaving my ex-husband, I very quickly ended up in another relationship that helped me transition from “married” to “girlfriend” to “single.” Perhaps someday in another blog post, I’ll go deeper into the details of that romance, but for the most part, it was really nice to have a friend to help me with the life changes.
Fast forward to a few months ago, and I found myself completely, truly and utterly SINGLE. When my divorce finally came through (Holy shit, I just found out I’m officially divorced), I was as single as can be.
… Not a guy in sight … or just a text away.
I told myself to embrace the feeling and learn how to be single. I told myself now is the time to spend all my “free” time on my business. Now would be the time to find new hobbies, new friends and Netflix binge as much as I want (like that’s something to brag about, lol).
It felt liberating, cleansing … but also foreign, lonely and kind of sad …
The thought of another relationship seemed downright daunting, but the prospect of meeting new guys by way of “dating” all of a sudden had more appeal.
Still completely petrified of what may come, I did what many single girls before me have done …
… and created an on-line dating profile.
BOOM! It’s a match!
The first time I matched someone on Bumble (a free dating app where you swipe right or left and girls have more control) my heart skipped a beat, adrenaline shot through me, I threw the phone on the ground, ran into my bedroom and jumped under the covers. OK, maybe not that dramatic … but pretty much.
I actually tried to “undo” the match, but apparently, that’s not allowed on the app. I’m seriously laughing at myself as I write this because this really happened!
A few people have asked me, “why in the world would someone with such a large network need to be on a dating app?” A few reasons:
1. Since I’ve never tried online dating, I actually wanted to experience it just for the experience. Who knows how long I’ll be single. If I don’t try it now, I might never get another opportunity.
2. It’s really nice to meet people that have no idea who I am. They get to know me from “scratch” and they don’t ask me a million questions about my business (which I really don’t care to talk about 24/7).
Eventually, after a few matches and a few RANDOM AS FUCK conversations along with unsolicited pics, I got a little more comfortable with the concept and continued my baby-steps into the dating world.
But I didn’t just want to meet people online …
Another great opportunity came my way and I decided to embrace it. I was invited to a singles event organized by a good friend of mine … and I went. I’ve never been to one of her events before and I really wanted to see what they’re all about. Another “single girl experience” checked off the list!
I made sure to bring my girlfriends so the night would be bound to be amazing no matter what. Can’t say I found any romantic connections there … but I did make a new friend. Success.
A few evenings I ended up going out to dinner by myself with my laptop. It was exactly what I needed … a way to be around people but with my laptop getting work done. A girl sitting alone at the bar … yes, definitely ended up meeting a few guys that way too.
Another guy friend of mine that I’ve know for years pulled me back into the “scene.” After years of getting invites from him, I finally attended one of his epic wine parties and reconnected with some old friends as well as made new ones. And seriously, I’ve never seen so many beautiful people in one place at the same time as I did at his house that night … dang!
Truly, I felt so completely out of my element by attending this party, but somehow I powered through. Phew! 😉
Today, my dating journey continues and I’m really enjoying it. It’s not quite the shit-show that I thought it might be … although I’ve had a few WTF moments (maybe in another blog post!). My favorite part is getting to meet new people that I find interesting. They all have something unique to offer and I love having friends along the new journey of being a 35-year-old single mom, divorced and dating.
A few months ago, I didn’t have the capacity to bring new people into my life, but through my continued work of healing, I find that each new person brings me energy and joy that drives me.
Instead of looking for anything specific, I’m just taking it one step at a time as my heart still heals from recent heartbreaks. Enjoying the journey!