… by seeing on FB that my ex-husband got married today.
No one notified me that the divorce is finalized. And no one told me he got married until just now.
It’s 11:10pm at night and I just got a text from a girlfriend …
“Saw Erin got married today! Thinking of you!!! Xoxo”
My first thought was, wow, why didn’t anyone tell me until 11pm at night.
My second thought was … WTF, why didn’t anyone tell me the divorce papers were finalized?
Third thought. HOLY SHIT. I’m divorced. Like for reals.
And this is how I find out???
Granted, we signed the divorce papers a few weeks ago and not like I didn’t see this coming, but this is a really fucked up way of finding out. Just sayin’ …
Would have been nice of Erin to give me a heads up or something. It’s not like we don’t communicate …
… And why didn’t any of my close friends say anything to me?
Maybe everyone thought surely I must know by now.
Maybe no one wants to have an uncomfortable conversation with me.
Maybe they just weren’t being good friends.
Maybe they didn’t know.
Regardless, none of this feels good. It’s a very eeky feeling.
I should have known my divorce was finalized. Period. I have that right.
But it’s also a very exciting moment …
Right now I feel PROUD.
I’m proud that I had the courage to leave that relationship when it no longer served me (or him).
I’m proud that I stood up for myself.
I’m proud that I hustle every single day to keep living my dream.
I’m proud that I’m a woman who knows what she wants and refuses to settle.
I’m proud that I’m DIVORCED because this is what I chose for myself.
I’m one step closer to FREEDOM.
I just reached a very important milestone in my life. It deserves to be commemorated.
And while I found out about it in an undesirable way … nonetheless …
… I can proudly proclaim that I am now officially divorced!
Wow!
It’s important for me to document this moment and share it. I’m comfortable sharing my feelings and parts of my life because it’s just who I am …
… But I do need to ask you a favor …
For the love of God, PLEASE do not leave me any comments or send me any messages of “I’m so sorry” blah blah blah…
I respect you feeling for me and empathizing, but …
… THIS IS NOT A PITY PARTY … and I’m most certainly not a victim.
This just happened to me and I’m just sharing.
So I thank you in advance for not showering me with your “sorry” comments.
There is truly nothing to be sorry about.
This moment is raw and beautiful, and I’m just capturing it …
Thank you for listening … tomorrow is another day.
Love,
Gelie
Congratulations!! I’m not sure where you are from or what the laws and stuff look like where you are, but with my ex-husband the day that we signed our divorce papers was the day that our divorce was “official”. I completely get where you are coming from as far as the “this isn’t a pity party”….once you have made a choice to leave, finding out that it is official is the most fantastic part of the journey!! Here’s to you and the rest of your life.
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Thank you!! I’m in Phx, AZ … I was told it could take up to 6 weeks, so I just wasn’t expecting it so soon. Now that I finally got the paper work, looks like it was finalized 4 days after we signed. However, no one notified me that early. But it’s over. It’s final and cheers to us! 🙂
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Love that you captured this feeling and shared it. Well done. bower >
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Thank you, Bower! Appreciate you keeping up with the blog!
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I am amazed at how real and raw you are! wow! This whole article made me smile gelie. Congratulations on your divorce, can anyone say “FREEEDDDDOOOOOOMMMMMM!” woohooo!
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Girl, all I know is raw and real … Muah!
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I love the optimism wrapped up in this post – I have often seen similar posts by others spiral in the opposite direction. I’m a forward looking person too.
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Always moving forward! Anything else is not an option!!
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Congratulations Gelie! Another milestone. Rock it!
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Congrats girl!! I did it 23 years ago and I was relieved the day I saw my papers. No one tells you anything in the beginning, then after a while, they tell you how all along they saw it was going downhill, then you just don’t give a flying fuck anymore.
Of course that’s about the time you get lucky as I did and find your own Barry – a perfect fit!
Love ya – Happy re-birth day.
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A perfect fit! I love that! You two are just that 🙂
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Greatt blog I enjoyed reading
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