Last time I was single, it was 1998.
The same year Google was founded (how did we live before Google?), Bill Clinton proudly proclaimed that he “did not have sexual relations with that woman,” and Britney Spears gave us “… Baby, One More Time.”
I was 17, had just broken up with my high school sweetheart, and was about to enter my Senior year of high school.
… But I wasn’t single for long.
On my way to tube down the Salt River in the hot summer month of July, I rolled my car and totaled it.
I had an internship that was paying me a grossly high salary of $4/per hour, but clearly, that wasn’t going to cover a new car 😉
In need of a second job that paid at least minimum wage, I applied at Fry’s Electronics in Tempe, got hired as a cashier and met Erin (my soon-to-be ex-husband). We were the only normal people there (true story), so we became friends … and the rest is history.
Clearly, I never dated much. But mainly, by choice …
… to me, it’s always been about a connection.
So here I am as a Jewish 35-year-old almost-divorced single momma looking to NOT date.
Truly, I can’t say that I’m actively looking for anything. In fact, I can tell you that more than anything, I’m actively detoxing.
Detoxing from a 17-year relationship that came to an end.
Mourning the love and friendship that I lost within the man that I married.
Shedding the layers of heaviness that built up as our relationship went from loving and nurturing to empty and sad.
Remembering how to feel again after being numb for so long.
Allowing light to come in where there was once darkness.
Feeling more and more like myself every day, as opposed to the shell of myself that I became towards the end of my relationship with Erin.
Living a much lighter and happier life.
Re-inventing myself within my business.
Growing on a personal and professional level.
Getting comfortable with my new identity as a modern single mom.
I’m really enjoying being single and enjoying the new-found freedom that comes with it.
I can finally breathe.
I’m actively picking up the pieces of my life and putting everything back together.
More than anything, I’m learning how to open up and share my story with others. Through my business, I’m constantly in the public eye. And to share my inner thoughts with the “world” isn’t the most comfortable thing.
But here I am … pushing past the uncomfortable because it helps me when I’m able to share and be open. I’ve lived a lifetime of experiences and I want people to know my story.
I feel like a have a new lease on life and I’m ready for whatever adventures come my way!
p.s. If you’d like to know more of the story of what happened with Erin and me, start reading my blog from bottom – up.